Shane Rounce: hmmm I sat down tonight with the Intent of pouring out my Emotions…

hmmm

I sat down tonight with the Intent of pouring out my Emotions out, into this keyboard, but the thing is, my Emotions are so twisted and mixed up at the Moment that not even I'm sure of what I'm thinking or feeling anymore.

I'm in such a Strange place right now. One week i'll be waking up at 4am after only a few hours sleep, the next week I'll be getting out of Bed at 6pm, with as much as 16 Hours of sleep under my Belt. I feel like my Body Clock is working to a different timezone, it just can't decide which one yet.

Now I know I haven't exactly been treating my Body like the temple it is, this year, but I'd say I'm still healthier than the average Joe. My intake of Caffeine can't be helping my anxiety too, so I reckon that has quite an effect on my emotional response to certain situations.

A lot of the time, I feel like I'm living someone elses life. I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I have so many bottled up emotions of late that they're blocking each other from escaping and, thus forth, me being able to express how I really feel about everything. I find myself getting angry a lot more often these days and having to step back and calm myself down, as though I'm telling a Friend to settle down. It never quite feels as though i'm talking to myself, as though my thoughts are my own.

One thing I can't complain about is my Productivity levels. They've risen ten-fold for sure. I'm getting a lot more done now in comparison to, say, a year ago. Still, doesn't mean I know where or what i'm going to be doing in a Week, let alone 10 years time. Quite an unsettling thought in itself.

I guess you could say I'm "cruising" right now. Taking every wave of emotions as it comes, trying to take everything as easy as I can.

Is there such thing as a Mid-Life crisis without the worry?